Queering Fertility: Circumstantial Infertility & Same-sex Couples

October 17, 2023

Is the legitimacy of marriage only derived from having offspring?

What is Circumstantial Infertility?

Circumstantial infertility is a term used to describe an individual or a couple with a desire to conceive but who do not have a partner of the opposite sex to accomplish this goal through traditional methods.

While the definition lacks consensus, this could be a single person without a partner or same-sex couples who need third-party assistance to conceive a biological child. These individuals do not have an actual medical or psychological condition causing true infertility, referring to infertility due to biological reasons) but still, experience actual barriers to becoming biological parents.

There are varying opinions on the appropriateness of using this term to describe the situation of an individual or couple. Circumstantial infertility may also be referred to as social infertility, as it is the lack of ability of a couple to conceive due to social factors.

Through this essay, we will be discussing the deployment of social infertility in queer couples and the politics that unfolds around the marriage of same-sex couples.

In order to conceive through traditional methods, you need a sperm, an egg and a uterus. In the absence of any of these elements, couples often require help from fertility clinics using methods like IVF, Surrogacy and many more.

When heterosexual couples resort to these unconventional methods of conceiving children, they only need to worry about the health and logistical concerns that may arise with the procedures in most cases. Of course, there are cultural issues that come into play and apprehensions arise around having a child via methods that are not so traditional. But, they aren’t of such a nature which possibly stigmatises the union of that heterosexual couple who are trying to have a child.

However, when it comes to same-sex couples, there are legal barriers along with the good old social taboos around homosexuality, which become a major contributing factor to the discussions surrounding fertility and conceiving children.

Our nation is currently witnessing history being created through the supreme court hearings of legalising same-sex marriage. Amongst the many important arguments that are unfolding in the courtroom, one concern that is being talked about is same sex couples being able to conceive and bring up children.

This leads me to talk about an ideology which is largely predominant in India – the union of marriage being labelled as equivalent to having children.

Is the legitimacy of marriage only derived from having offspring?

Historically, sex between a man and a woman has been associated with being procreative. Various religious texts in the Hindus, Jains and Christians advocate this and also specify that if sex is done for anything other than procreation, like pleasure, then it is considered immoral. Madhavi Menon, in her book – A History of Desire in India talks about the notion of celibacy in Hinduism where she describes the 4 stages that a person (man) needs to go through in order to become a celibate. One of those stages is called the Grihastha (literally meaning household) wherein the man learns how to run a household and is only allowed to engage in sexual intercourse for the purpose of reproduction and not otherwise.

People marry for various reasons, including companionship, status in society, financial security, and love among many others – mostly practical ones – so then why does being socially incapable of childbirth become a primary point of resistance when we talk about marriage for homosexuals?

In this century, many young heterosexual married couples, the Millennials and Gen-Z, are opting out of having children. It is considered a progressive way of navigating a marriage in the 21st century and while this is a way of life I encourage personally, it is quite contrary to the way society would see it if a homosexual couple was placed in this position.

Menaka Guruswamy, a senior advocate in the Supreme Court of India, offers a different perspective on why same-sex marriages need to be legalised when she says “Married queer couples will not be able to nominate their spouses for life insurance as only heterosexual marriages are afforded that privilege or the couple to have access to basic fundamental rights and practicalities of life, such as nominating your partner for insurance” She also brings to light how if a homosexual couple wants to even adopt a child, it is legally not possible to do so, or even if it is, it comes with innumerable hardships.

There is an overwhelming amount of data and statistics available from a Western perspective that it overshadows the discourse around Indian homosexual couples seeking help for fertility or adoption, up to such an extent that it is almost non-existent. Homosexual folks are largely reduced to a mere category of LGBTQIA+. Most of us won’t know what the abbreviations after ‘Q’ mean. After the scrapping of 377, homosexuals are celebrated through the colours of the rainbow and in pride marches. However, denying them the right to be married and denying them the ease of being able to experience the joy of being parents, snatches away the colour from their lives.

Why is it so challenging for us, as a society, to accept that men who love men and women who love women have the same love between them, as any man and woman would have for each other? So why deny them the right to experience a life which every ordinary heterosexual couple enjoys?

Credits: Man’s World India

“He gave birth and she became a mother”

Zahhad and Ziya Paval, a transgender couple in Kerala’s Kozhikode, are gearing up to embrace parenthood. Their way of conceiving a child may be unconventional and many may not understand the biology of how it was possible. But what matters is that they are 2 individuals who are getting to exercise their right to lead the life they wish to.

With the much-needed limelight that is being given to legalising same-sex marriages in Indian courts, the entire nation is hopeful for the judgement to be in favour of it, but either way, this issue is finally being talked about in every household. This will unfold conversations around normalising homosexual couples being married, choosing or not choosing to have children, eventually leading to the realisation that it is all about a matter of choice.

References

R. Cristina (2013) ‘Disrupting the Meaning of Marriage? Childfree, Infertile and Gay Unions in Evangelical and Catholic Theologies of Marriage’ Theology and Sexuality

M. Menon (2018) ‘Chapter 6: Celibacy’ Infinite Variety – A History of Desire in India

FertilitySmarts, ‘What is Circumstantial Infertility?’

W. Stephanie (2020) ‘Same-Sex Couples Face Fertility Issues When Trying to Conceive’ WebMD

S. Ritika (2023) ‘Kerala trans man gets pregnant, couple to welcome their baby in March’ India Today

M. Shivangi (2023) ‘“Right To Life Of Dignity”: Menaka Guruswamy During Same-Sex Marriage Hearing’ SheThePeople TV

Gayatri is a twenty-one-year-old passionate musician. She loves the winter, coffee & the moon. Other than this she also likes to travel and create videos for her youtube channel. She’s currently pursuing Gender Studies at Ambedkar University, Delhi and through her writings at Mandonna she aims to contribute to promoting more conversation around gender.

Gayatri Gupta